February Self Care

Gabor Maté – When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress

Over the past 20 years, I have invested time, energy and heart into helping people overcome difficult and unfair life experiences. I have integrated what I have learned from inspirational trauma survivors into psycho-educational programming developed for community, professionals and young people. My therapeutic approach and program development process centers around establishing and maintaining a foundation of whole-self wellness. If we are not well in our bodies, minds, emotions and spirits, how can we possibly navigate adversity or help others through it?

Collectively, we’ve highlighted the importance of self-caring practices and have developed multiple strategies, opportunities and methods of self-care that could aide in the establishment of a secure base that is needed through times of upheaval or uncertainty. Upon opening any social media platform, listening to the news or taking in a podcast, the value and need for self-care is broadcasted.

We know this. I know this; yet sometimes what we know is different from what we do. It was the summer of 2021. We were coming out of (what we did not know at the time), the last major covid-lockdown. It was a good time in my life, filled with hope and opportunity. I was finishing up the last month of my masters’ degree, had a full therapy practice, our children were thriving in school despite remote learning, I was set to marry the love of my life, and we were preparing to begin major renovations to our home. My days would start at 5 am, and often end at midnight. They were hectic, but full of ‘good things’ I would tell myself. I was not saying no to anything. Why would I, as my days were filled with ‘good things’ that ‘I chose’?

Gabor Mate writes about the growing modern day observation of our bodies saying no for us, when we fail to. This can manifest as disease, autoimmune deficiency, and other physiological and psychological illness. One week after our wedding, with one final paper to write for my masters’ program, my body, mind, emotions and spirit could not hold another thing for another moment. I woke up with expectations to continue to push through and seemingly suddenly, experienced the worst migrane of my life which impacted my vision, I developed painful shingles that covered half of my body, with body chills and aches and could not hold food or water down. I could hardly sit up, never mind find the brain power to write a coherent research paper. My body said no. No more papers, no more extending self, no more ignoring the need for rest and recouperation.

Because I had ignored the essential need for self-care in the midst of all the ‘good stuff’ for months on end, my body, mind and spirit did not bounce back quickly; my soul was not concerned with my to-do-list. I was forced to learn that if I continued to not listen to my screaming body, that it would make choices for me; choices that I would not choose by my own free will.

Thankfully, this was a life changing event for me. It is so easy to fall back into bad habits after crisis settles. I now know, in a real way, how essential it is to prioritize regular and consistent care for my body, mind, emotions and spirit in ways that I choose, so I am able to be present in my life and in the important work I am gifted with. This February, I invite you in joining me to consider the commitment to care for yourself as an essential action to sustaining vitality and healthy presence in your life.

Written by Amy Rasmussen Waluk, MEd, FTT